Gravity, p.17
Gravity, page 17
The Marshalls are being introduced to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Juliette waved me off when I wanted to get her into pajamas. She instead had Brenda help her. They both reemerge from the bathroom all washed up and ready to party.
“You guys can call me anytime.”
“Don’t worry, sweetie we will. I text and everything.” Brenda pats my shoulder. “We will let Juliette call too.”
“Thank you.”
We both stare at Juliette sitting on the floor in front of her popcorn wrapped up in her Army hoodie.
“It’s never easy. I remember when my kids had their first sleepover.”
I open my mouth to reply, but am cut off when Juliette leaps to her feet making it rain popcorn and squeals at a deafening decibel. She whirls around to us with blood trickling from her mouth.
“I wost a wooth.” She hops up and down holding her mouth.
We rush her into the kitchen holding her over the sink to wash out her mouth and the blood from her face. Brenda helps me as the two men peer over the sink with trepidation.
“It’s just a tooth, dear. She’s okay.” Brenda finally pats her husband’s shoulder.
He visibly lets out a breath scrubbing his face.
“It’s tiny. Look, mommy.” Juliette beams holding her tooth up.
I cover my mouth when her smile reveals it was one of her front ones. She’s adorable.
Brenda rushes up to Amos’s room while I hold Juliette to my chest peppering her with kisses.
“This was your daddy’s.” She hands Juliette a tiny, camouflage pillow with a pocket in it. “We will put it under your pillow tonight so the tooth fairy will come.”
Juliette scrambles for the pillow tucking her tooth in it safely. My heart sinks knowing it won’t be me placing the money in it tonight. A milestone I will miss because I’ve chosen to share her. A bitter taste lingers for a beat, but then I remember all of the other milestones I experienced with her. I can do this.
With one final kiss, snapping a picture of Juliette’s smile, I begin driving home with a heavy and happy heart. It’s an odd combination to experience. It’s light and dark. Freeing and drowning all wrapped together. I’m alive.
When my phone rings I know who it is. I answer by pushing the Bluetooth button on my steering wheel.
“Hey, baby.”
“Where are you?” Cub asks.
“Just left. Juliette is spending the night.”
“Are you okay?”
“I think I will be.”
“You sound sad.”
“I’m sad, happy, and confused.”
“I’m proud of you, Gracie,” he pauses briefly. “I’ll be off when you get here.”
“Have you eaten?”
“Not since this morning.”
“Bad day?” I ask.
“You could say that. Want to meet me at the pizza joint.”
“Sure. See you soon,” I pause this time. “I love you, Cub.”
“Love you, too.”
34
Gracie
When I open the door, I spot him immediately sitting in a chair relaxed back and thinking. His eyes light up when he sees me even through his exhausted features. His thighs spread wide when I near him. I take advantage of it by stepping right into him.
I toss my purse on the table and then run my hands through his thick tussled hair. He pulls me to him resting his head between my boobs. It’s obvious that neither of us care we are in public right now.
“I change my mind.”
Cub looks up to me confused.
“This is sexier than your cop uniform.”
I grab the collar of his white button up shirt tracing the outline of it. He has his sleeves rolled up with his ink playing peekaboo and the top buttons undone. I throw a leg over his and then my other one until I’m straddling him.
“I missed you today.” I kiss his lips.
“Fuck, Gracie, you’re killing me.”
“I’m ready for dessert, Cub.”
His stomach growls and we both laugh.
“Have I ever told you how sexy you are?” I ask.
“Not enough.” He waggles his eyebrows. “But I have some ideas how you can get it across.”
“You happy to see me or is that your pistol?”
“Jesus,” he laughs hard. “Probably my pistol, but…”
He drags my hand from his shoulder down to his crotch to show me how happy he is to see me.
Someone clears their throat and we look up to the poor teenage server who is holding Cub’s pizza. He nods for her to put it down. She does so and then practically runs away. I peer around the restaurant to see we are the only customers. A giddy sensation of butterflies flitting around overtakes me. I feel free and like a damn crazy teenager myself wild and in love.
I go to stand up, but Cub keeps me glued to his lap. He rustles me around so he can get to his pizza. My man wasn’t lying about not eating since breakfast. He inhales the entire pie while putting away three beers.
“You are going to explode.” I pat his belly.
“Fuck, I feel better.” He wraps his arms around my waist inhaling the tender skin on my neck. “Let’s go home.”
“I am home,” I whisper.
He grins against my skin. “Me too, baby.”
“Finish your beer, baby, and I’ll drive you home.” I kiss his cheek.
I’m shocked when Cub doesn’t even stagger on the way to the car. He begins snoring lightly when I drive home. The man is exhausted and I know it has everything to do with work. Whenever I ask about it he hushes me with a kiss and then distracts me. So, I’ve decided to be the person for him to lean on.
“Baby, we’re home.” I pat his leg stirring him from his light sleep.
He grumbles a bit and then sits up straight. And even in his sleepy haze it doesn’t stop him from rounding the front of my car quickly to get my door. It took me time getting used to the gesture. He refused anything less.
Our chests collide when I stand up. “Dessert time, sweet girl.”
“We don’t have a fort.”
“No, we have a whole night to ourselves,” he winks. “Izzy is staying with Hart.”
“Nice.” I race into the house giggling like a loon knowing he’s on my tail. I manage to get the door unlocked with the keypad and race halfway down the hall before Cub grabs me by the waist. He packs me over his shoulder to the bedroom.
“Did you even shut the door?” I ask, swatting his ass.
“Of course, baby.”
He tosses me back on the bed. I perch up on my elbows watching him slowly unbutton that sexy as fuck white shirt. I lick my lips when he drops it to the floor. He continues his oh so slow torture, bending over, kicking off his boots then seductively sliding down his trousers.
He flicks the top of his tight black boxers before peeling those off as well. He covers my body running his hands up and down my sides. Cub has me naked before I know what’s going on. As eager as Cub is he enters me slowly with our mouths colliding. We don’t have sex or rapidly fuck. He takes his time moving in and out of me. Our mouths follow the rhythm. With each push he drives farther and farther into me until my head spins.
My nails dig into Cub’s back as he winds me tighter and tighter until the line is so taught it snaps in a quick action. I scream clinging to Cub until there’s no space left between us. He grunts once and then twice before spilling into me. He doesn’t stop moving in me. He’s still hard, rocking into me. The sensation is so great and mind-altering I buck up underneath him until I orgasm again.
“My greedy girl.” He kisses the top of my head.
I smile up at him. “Now wash me, officer.”
“Who said I was done with you.” He rolls us over in quick movement.
My palms plant on his chest to steady myself. Cub’s fingers dig into my flesh and he begins moving up in me. I feel him grow rock solid again coated in our liquid. He rolls my hips to match his thrusting action. My nails dig into his chest while I moan moving with him.
Cub bites down on his bottom lip until he pierces it. “Let go, baby, let go. I’m fucking close.”
His gritty voice is the magic element sending me straight over the edge. He follows growling and spilling into me again. I collapse down on his chest exhausted, happy, and very satisfied.
“What was that for, tiger?” I pat his chest with cheek sealed to it.
“Told you that I missed you.”
We lay in silence with our bodies pressed together. His steady heart beats against my ear and with each beat my love for him grows stronger. I whisper it so lightly Cub doesn’t hear me.
“Thank you, Amos.”
Eventually we shower, make love in there again, and finally collapse together on the bed until I’m starving.
“You screwed my appetite right back into me.” I pat his chest playfully and then hop out of bed before he gets any ideas. “I’ll grab you a beer and me some food.”
“You better get your ass right back here. It’s my sleepover and my rules.”
I roll my eyes at him and exit the room. I go for crackers and cheese, a glass of wine, and a couple of beers for Cub. With everything balanced in my hands, I begin walking down the hallway. The front door bursts open causing everything in my arms to fly above my head.
“Jesus, Hart.” I turn around knowing it could only be him.
I freeze, my knees begin to tremble, and I try to scream, but nothing comes out.
“Gracie.” Mae stares me down with her evil eyes.
She’s lost all resemblance of her old self and any trace of being a savage human being. Her eyes are even more sunken with open sores on her face.
“You’ve taken my life.” The gun shakes in her hand. “You stole Amos and now Cub and my daughter. Izzy is mine. He doesn’t get to have what is mine.”
Her eyes dart over to a picture of Izzy and Juliette on the countertop.
“Where is she? Where is your daughter? I’m going to take your entire world from you.”
“Mae.” My voice barely comes out.
“Where is she?”
Even though I know Juliette isn’t here I panic and begin to scream.
“Cub, she has a gun.”
“Shut the fuck up. He’s not here to save you.” She steps closer with her nasty smell filling my senses. “Think I’d be dumb enough to come here when his truck was here?”
“Cub,” I scream again.
“He’s mine and will always be. You’re so fucking dumb. Thought I’d have to knock, but I walked right in.”
“Mae.” Cub’s deep voice finally fills the room. “Put down the fucking gun.”
I turn just enough to see him poised with his own pistol.
“Cub, I’m done. I’m ready to be back in your life and Izzy’s. Cog and the boys fled tonight. I have no one.”
“Put down the fucking gun,” he roars again.
Mae continues to ramble ignoring his command. “They’re gone. I have no one. She’s in the way. I need you back. I won’t fuck up again.”
“Put down the fucking gun or I’ll shoot.”
“Not before me.” She smiles wickedly.
It all happens quickly. The slight movement of her finger pulling the trigger, the sound of the gun firing, and then the flesh tearing. There’s no pain as I clutch my stomach, holding it tightly while the warm liquid flows between my fingers. More shots ensue, but I’m numb having no idea what has just happened.
My knees collide with the carpet and my head spins round and round until I can’t remember…anything. I fall forward with my cheek crushed into the carpet. The warm sensation flowing from my body wraps me up in a cocoon easing my soul. I fight to grip the carpet.
“Gracie,” someone screams near me. “Oh, my God, Gracie. No. No. No.”
I fight to open my eyes to see Cub franticly pulling me into his arms. He cradles me to his chest and begins rocking back and forth. His large palm covers my stomach.
“Keep your eyes open, baby, keep your eyes open.”
I squeak when I try to talk.
“No. Ssshhhh, baby don’t try to talk, the ambulance is on the way.”
I squeak again, but mange to force out some words. “Take care of her. Love her. Be her daddy.”
“No. No. No.” He continues to shake his head while rocking me and kissing my forehead. “You’ll be here.”
“I love you, Cub.” It comes out as a whisper. “You have to let me go.”
“No. No. No.”
35
Cub
“Stent, go home.”
“No.” I slam the side of the van and then put on my vest.
“You’re too invested. Go home.”
“I go in with the unit or I go and kill the motherfuckers on my own. Your choice.”
The lead federal agent just shakes his head. “You’re walking a fine line, man.”
“I’m already fucking drowning,” I bite out.
My leg bounces up and down as I ride in the back of the SWAT van. My knuckles are thirsty for vengeance. Those fuckers will die tonight. They fucking sent Mae to take my girl as payback. They had no idea who they were fucking with. I’m a man of the law, but tonight there’s nothing stopping me. Prison will never be enough for what they took from me.
The call comes in and we all hustle from the van to clear the home. The motherfuckers are here and they don’t go willingly. I’m not the first to fire, but I make damn sure I’m the last one to. My final bullet goes through Cog’s face. Bet the motherfucker wishes he would have really left town now.
A co-worker pulls me off him taking my weapon from me. I remain numb the entire way back to the station. The cold water striking my skin does nothing to stop the loss flowing from me. I’ll never be able to erase the vision of her lifeless body in my arms. Her words she tried to speak to me rip my fucking heart out on a daily basis.
My back glides down the cold tiles until I’m sitting on the floor in a huddled mess letting the cold water rain down on my spine. Killing wasn’t even enough to fill the void. I thought I’d experienced devastation over in Afghanistan, but I wasn’t even close.
“Let’s go man.” Hart’s voice streams into the shower of the locker room.
He’s been like a goddamn magnet glued to my ass the past week. He never leaves my side. He’s tired, but not willing to let go.
I know he won’t stop until I get dressed, so I climb to my feet, turn the shower off, and get dressed.
“I’m driving. It’s time you tell her.” Hart throws my bag over his shoulder.
I shrug wanting to tell him to fuck off and hit the bottle, but he’s right, it’s time to tell her what happened. I’m silent on the drive staring out the window. Everything is stale with black and white hues. I’ll never forget the fucking gunshot, the blood, and her graying face as she fought to breathe.
“I’m here for you, man.” Hart cuts the engine.
The crunching of the gravel coating the ground sends chills up my spine as I take each step. Hart swings open the door and I see Molly standing with blood-shot eyes that have shed way too many tears.
She offers a weak smile with no words because there’s nothing else left to be said. Not a single word can dull the pain inflicted on us. Guy pulls her to his chest. The four of us stand together in a circle, silent and as a family unit searching how to move forward.
I give them all a nod of respect before stepping away. Each step hurts ripping at my soul. The door creaks open, but there are no hopeful eyes or stares. The cheerful greetings from my loving girls are silent. There’s no sound, hope, or joy as I enter.
I go to her with the burden of breaking the bad news. I wrap my hand in hers with the only sound of the heart monitor beating out. Gracie turns her head to face me. There’s no color in her features as her recovery process is brutal.
“Hi, baby.” I run my hand down her cheek.
She musters up enough energy to manage a smile and then holds out her hand. I lean down letting her fingers run through my beard. Everything is still so unclear as to the extent of her injuries. The bullet went through her stomach and nicked her spine. The surgeons are confident she’ll make a full recovery. Gracie was seconds from losing her life with the blood loss.
She moans a pleasant sound when her fingers drag down my beard. I drop my forehead to hers letting her feel my beard on her skin.
“I love you, Gracie.” I kiss her lips. “I’m so damn sorry…”
Before I finish she shuts me up with a kiss. She’s never let me apologize for leaving the fucking door unlocked. I feel the guilt every single fucking second of my day.
“I have to tell you something, baby girl.”
She nods with her eyelids already fluttering shut. She sleeps a lot.
“The doctors have been updating us, but I wanted to be the one to tell you.” I clear my throat and have no idea how to tell the woman who is my future, that she’ll never be able to have kids and had lost the one she was carrying.
She drags her fingers through my beard again encouraging me to go on.
“Gracie, you were pregnant. We lost it.”
Her eyes slam shut, but I have to get the rest out before I crumble. “You’re not going to be able to have kids.”
Her eyes snap shut and it takes several seconds before tears spill out.
“I’m so sorry, baby.” I kiss along her jaw line clutching to her as much as I can without hurting her. “We have our girls, baby.”
I want to keep going on, reassuring her, but the horrible truth is there are no words for this. She was robbed. My girl is hurting and fighting to get healthy again, but it wasn’t right keeping this truth from her.
“I love you, Gracie. Please come back to me. I’ll take care of everything forever.”
She opens her eyes with one word slipping from them.
“Gravity,” she whispers.
“With me,” I reply. She reaches up to my head pulling it down to her chest. When I lay my cheek across her chest, she holds onto my beard until she falls asleep. The sound of her heart lightly beating against her chest is the one and only thing that can bring peace back into my world.
