Tim Dorsey - Free Library Land Online - Art

Nuclear Jellyfish

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 17:26:09 +0300

Just when you thought it was safe to go online . . . Serge has returned!

That loveable collector of trivia, souvenirs, and murder methods is back with a new A&8209;Tour of Florida. And this time he's out to set the record straight!

Serge is upset that his beloved state isn't getting its proper recognition, so he signs on with the big Internet travel services. But his new employers aren't exactly sure they want to send their customers to Serge's favorite haunts&8212;nor do they want to provide tips on how to keep from getting killed on vacation.

Serge couldn't disagree more, and he sets up his own wildcat site, hyper&8209;blogging his way down the coast with his perpetually hammered sidekick, Coleman.

Unfortunately Serge's Web presence catches the attention of his nemesis, Agent Mahoney, and the chase is on.

Meanwhile, professional robbery crews have begun targeting trade show exhibitors, who may or may not be what they seem. Bodies begin piling up, which is less than usual for the locale&8212;except this time it involves rare postcards. Serge has had enough! He's forced into the only logical course of action&8212;go shopping at the Home Depot.

And this only raises more questions:

Who is tutoring strippers through the community college?

What sparked the grudge match between coin and stamp enthusiasts?

How'd the astronaut in diapers get involved?

Why does Serge have to stop at the NASCAR superstore?

Where did all these diamonds come from? And does Lynyrd Skynyrd hold the key to everything?

It all starts with a tragic tattoo parlor mishap and soon nobody is safe, especially the person on the Robert De Niro stool, because, after all, Serge has to sit there or what's the point of life?

But wait! You say you want more? Serge says, You got it!

Guns, drugs, bloody crime scenes, historically relevant sex, library quiet time, glow&8209;in&8209;the dark deformities, hotel drink coupons, a naked woman in a shark cage, and John Travolta.

It's time to sign on with Serge and see where the twisting, sun&8209;splashed trail leads in . . . Nuclear Jellyfish!

(source: Bol.com)

No Sunscreen for the Dead

Fri, 15 Nov 2019 15:16:20 +0200

The Sunshine State's most lovable psychopath, Serge A. Storms, kills it in this zany adventure from the "compulsively irreverent and shockingly funny" (Boston Globe) king of mayhem, New York Times bestselling author Tim Dorsey.
Serge and Coleman are back on the road, ready to hit the next stop on their list of obscure and wacky points of interest in the Sunshine State. This time, Serge's interest is drawn to one of the largest retirement villages in the world—also known as the site of an infamous sex scandal between a retiree and her younger beau that rocked the community. What starts out as an innocent quest to observe elders in their natural habitats, sample the local cuisine, and scope out a condo to live out the rest of their golden years, soon becomes a Robin Hood-like crusade to recover the funds of swindled residents. After all, our seniors should be revered and respected—they've heroically fought in wars, garnered priceless wisdom, and they have...

Naked Came the Florida Man

Mon, 09 Mar 2020 18:53:36 +0200

The "compulsively irreverent and shockingly funny" (Boston Globe) Tim Dorsey returns with an insanely entertaining tale in which the inimitable Serge A. Storms sees dead people and investigates a creepy urban myth that may be all too real.

Though another devastating hurricane is raking Florida, its awesome power can't stop the Sunshine State's most loyal son, Serge A. Storms, from his latest scenic road trip: a cemetery tour. With his best bro Colman riding shotgun, Serge hits the highway in his '69 gold Plymouth Satellite, putting pedal to the metal on a grand tour of the past. Beginning in Key West, the sunshine boys' odyssey includes a forgotten mass grave in Palm Beach county holding the remains of African Americans killed by the Great Hurricane of 1928, and the resting place of one world-famous television dolphin (RIP Flipper) from the 1960s.

But one deadland—a haunted old sugar field—holds more than just the bones of those...

Florida Roadkill

Sun, 18 Oct 1998 17:26:14 +0300

Sunshine State trivia buff Serge A. Storms loves eliminating jerks and pests. His drug-addled partner Coleman loves cartoons. Hot stripper Sharon Rhodes loves cocaine, especially when purchased with rich dead men's money.

On the other hand, there's Sean and David, who love fishing and are kind to animals -- and who are about to cross paths with a suitcase filled with $5 million in stolen insurance money. Serge wants the suitcase. Sharon wants the suitcase. Coleman wants more drugs . . . and the suitcase. In the meantime, there's murder by gun, Space Shuttle, Barbie doll, and Levi's 501s.

In other words, welcome to Tim Dorsey's Florida -- where nobody gets out unscathed and untanned!

From Publishers Weekly

This dizzying road movie of a first novel follows a passel of comic con men (and one con woman) down and around the Florida coast. Their adventures involve deliciously caricatured characters along with delirious violence, not to mention pigeon-eating maniacs, cocaine, traffic jams, biker gangs, hot-tub accidents, mock-Satanic heavy metal bands, partially frozen crocodilians, the World Series and the space shuttle. Serge and Coleman are roommates, manic ne'er-do-wells trying to fashion a living from crime and adventure. Sexy Sharon Rhodes murders magnates for their life insurance. On the run after her last hit, she meets Serge and Coleman, and the trio start a crime spree. Former millionaire George Veale has just been released from prison when he absconds with a suitcase of drug money. The cash belongs to insurance CEO Charles Saffron, who hires sleazy private investigator Mo Grenadine to get it back. (Mo is also a corrupt right-wing state legislator and a gay-baiting talk radio host.) Serge and Coleman (themselves remotely connected to drug cartels) get wind of the suitcase and scheme for the cash. Sharon wants in on the caper, too, whether or not the two men planned it that way. Dorsey's cast of dangerous oddballs chase, rob, shoot and kill their way from Tampa to the Florida Keys and the Dry Tortugas, until their raucous evasion of law catches up with them. Dorsey is a newspaperman by trade (at the Tampa Tribune), and his sentence rhythm can be crisply journalistic: "Wilbur Putzenfus was losing hair on top and working the comb-over. No tan. No tone.... Spiro Agnew without the power." Floridian readers may laugh or wince as Dorsey skewers the state's foibles and stereotypes. But he can abandon his verbal dexterity and his social observation to get a quick laugh or a quick jolt of violence: as a result, his satire seems less serious than it might be. Admirers of Elmore Leonard and Carl Hiassen will note their influences here; as entertainment, this rollicking, over-the-top novel is a blast. Agent, Nat Sobel. (Aug.)
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

In this debut, lots of people are after a suitcase full of money that got dropped in the wrong car: two bad guys, one obsessed with Florida history (the setting is Miami) and another with cocaine; one lady, whos also a killer; and the good-guy lawyer. Dorsey is night news coordinator of the Tampa Tribune, so expect good detail.
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Mermaid Confidential

Tue, 18 Oct 2022 17:26:15 +0300

Serge A. Storms gives condo living a try in this latest acid-splashed Florida crime caper from the "insanely funny" (New York Times Book Review) Tim Dorsey.

Serge A. Storms and his permanently baked sidekick, Coleman, have decided to pump the brakes and live on island time. After years of manic road tripping across their beloved Sunshine State, the irrepressible anti-heroes drop anchor in the Florida Keys. They settle down in Pelican Bay, a thriving condo complex with scenic views and friendly neighbors. But the community is at war with investors who are buying up units and leasing them to young vacationers who party at all hours. With their little slice of heaven on the line, Serge takes it upon himself to convince the tourists to move on and quickly becomes a local favorite.

Meanwhile, the island chain's long and rich smuggling heritage is causing mayhem—a gang war erupts when a local drug lord passes the family business to his young,...

Orange Crush

Wed, 18 Oct 2000 17:26:11 +0300

No holds are barred in the battle to be the next Governor of Florida in this scintillating new black comedy thriller from the author of Florida Roadkill and Hammerhead Ranch Motel. Death by taxidermy, sky-diving Hemingway lookalikes, Toto the Dancing Weather Dog and killer grannies - it's just another day in Tim Dorsey's Florida. Inspired by years spent reporting on stranger-than-fiction crimes for the Tampa Tribune, Dorsey burst onto the scene with his much-acclaimed novels Florida Roadkill and Hammerhead Ranch Motel, featuring Serge Storms, the homicidal misift with the encyclopedic knowledge of the Sunshine State. Now, in Orange Crush, Tim Dorsey turns his attention to senseless violence on the campaign trail...For Republican Marlon Conrad, the Florida governorship is a done deal - until the day he and his team inexplicably embark on a whirlwind election tour in a bright orange camper van. But his ratings soar, and soon the press and his shell-shocked opponents set off in hot pursuit - closely followed by the police. For behind this unscheduled roadtrip lies a mysterious trail of mayhem and murder. And it bears all the hallmarks of Florida's most wanted - and most lovable - homicidal maniac.

(source: Bol.com)

The Maltese Iguana

Mon, 22 May 2023 09:01:12 +0300

Serge A. Storms is back on the road in the latest zany Florida caper from the "wickedly funny" (Entertainment Weekly) Tim Dorsey.
After a long and arduous COVID-19 quarantine, Serge A. Storms is fully vaccinated and ready to hit the road. Along with his condo neighbors, he cooks up a wild plan to celebrate in true Serge fashion: each week, they rent a shuttle van and head out for funky Florida road trips and some serious revelry.

Meanwhile, a CIA revenge operation down in Honduras goes very, very wrong. The local liaison hired to help with the mission is the only witness to the disaster, and the CIA quickly sets a black ops contractor on his trail to eliminate him.

Forced to flee his home country, the witness lands in Miami with a new identity and passport. But the CIA is still on his tail, pushing him further and further south to the Florida Keys, where he runs into Serge's convoy. With Florida's most lovable serial killer involved, the real...

Tropic of Stupid

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 20:11:38 +0200

Serge A. Storms embarks on a tour to meet his long-lost relatives in this latest madcap entry in the bestselling series from "Florida's compulsively irreverent and shockingly funny" (Boston Globe) Tim Dorsey.
Devoted Floridaphile Serge Storms is a lover of history, so he's decided to investigate his own using one of those DNA services from late-night TV. Excited to construct a family tree, he and Coleman hit the road to meet his kin. Along the way, he plans to introduce Coleman to the Sunshine State's beautiful parks where he can brush up on his flora, fauna, and wildlife and more important, collect the missing stamps for his park passport book.

But as the old saying goes, the apple doesn't fall far . . . Serge is thrilled to discover he may be related to a notorious serial killer who's terrorized the state for twenty years and never been caught. Which one of his newfound relatives will be the one to help him hunt down this deranged maniac? Serge...

16 Tiger Shrimp Tango

Thu, 06 Nov 2014 17:40:14 +0200

Clownfish Blues

Mon, 13 Nov 2017 08:27:44 +0200

A (Serge A.) Storm is brewing for a cabal of bad guys gaming the Florida state lottery in this insanely funny novel from the maestro of mayhem, Tim Dorsey.If you're loud and proud Floridian Serge A. Storms, how do you follow up your very own remake of Easy Rider? You shoot your own "episodes" of your favorite classic television show, Route 66! With Coleman riding shotgun, Serge is rolling down the highway of his dreams in a vintage silver convertible Corvette just like the snazzy car Martin Milner drove. It doesn't matter that the actual Route 66 didn't pass through Florida, for Serge discovers that a dozen episodes near the series' end were filmed (really!) in his beloved home state. So for Serge and the always toked and stoked Coleman, the Sunshine State is all the road you need to get your kicks. But their adventure traveling the byways of the Sunshine State's underbelly is about to take a detour. Someone is trying to tilt the odds in the state lottery...

The Riptide Ultra-Glide

Tue, 19 Nov 2013 10:32:44 +0200

Welcome to Paradise!Freshly laid-off Wisconsinites Patrick and Barbara McDougall are going to sunny Florida for a modest romantic vacation. But the motel they picked isn't quite a pastel paradise, and they have to be midwesterners and make the best of a bad situation. Except bad goes to worse, and a string of misfortunes renders them unable to leave the state. Meanwhile, the next Mexican-American War is being fought, this time in Fort Lauderdale, between the Kentucky mafia and the Oxy cartel over control of the lucrative pain clinic market. Latinos are turning up dead, hillbillies are wandering the beach trampling sand castles, and cops continue arresting doctors wriggling out of office windows.But it's never really a party until Serge and Coleman arrive. Cruising down U.S. 1, Captain Florida and his perpetually altered sidekick are on a mission to film the best reality show ever! Back at their motel, the McDougalls are peeking out...

Torpedo Juice

Thu, 19 Nov 2015 12:39:46 +0200

Electric Barracuda

Sat, 19 Nov 2011 10:32:44 +0200

When elves attack ss-14

Mon, 15 Nov 1993 13:43:05 +0200