“Come on. Let’s call it a night.”

  “I haven’t wiped the tables.”

  And he didn’t need to because he wasn’t working here. Fuck, should he offer to pay him for the work he’d done? “I’ll do it tomorrow.”

  “I might as well do it now. The dishwasher isn’t done, and you’ll want to run the last tray too.”

  “I will?”

  The small smile lit a fire within Gideon. He did his best to extinguish it, but it licked at his core nonetheless.

  “Yeah, you will. Better get it all done. It won’t take more than a few minutes, and you can come into a clean kitchen tomorrow.”

  Squirrels weren’t supposed to be sensible. They stole nuts and ran upside down in trees. He’d better check his peanut stash before they went upstairs.

  * * * *

  Jyran was exhausted and nervous as they climbed the stairs to Gideon’s apartment. He was hungry too, but he wasn’t going to ask for anything to eat. Shifting and running for your life left you starving. As soon as he thought about food, his stomach growled, and Gideon looked at him over his shoulder.

  “You didn’t steal my peanuts then.”

  Jyran blinked as he tried to make sense of what he was saying. “I’m sorry, what?”

  “You wouldn’t be hungry if you had. I was going to check before we left, but I forgot.”

  Jyran whirled around on the step and hurried down the stairs. He’d always put faith in the universe, but he’d been wrong. His mate was a prejudiced fucker who not only looked down on him but also accused him of stealing. Tears burned his eyes. He was exhausted and hungry and not in control of his emotions. He might never be able to be truly happy with someone other than Gideon, but he deserved more than this.

  “Jyran!”

  Nope. Steps neared him, but Jyran sped up. He would not let Gideon see how much he hurt him.

  He jumped down the last flight and grabbed the banister to swing himself as close to the door as he could. He fumbled with the lock for half a second, but then he stumbled out into the night. The parking lot was deserted, so he shifted. The change came slower than it normally did. He’d used up his last reserves.

  As the door banged open and Gideon hurried out into the night, Jyran took aim at a tree and sprinted. He leaped up the trunk and scurried higher until he was on the thin twigs at the top. He did his best to ignore Gideon’s curses below and gazed out over the city.

  He could disappear. Adara would be fine. He’d find a park in a place with a low shifter population and live the rest of his life as a squirrel. He’d miss human interaction. Wild squirrels didn’t stop to discuss politics or tell a joke, but he’d manage. He’d build a nest. Have a place of his own. A home.

  Sighing, he curled into himself.

  “Jyran! Get down here.”

  Gideon was circling the tree, glaring at him. Nope, not going down there.

  “I’m sorry, okay? But you have to admit it’s a valid concern.”

  Oh, hell no! Not only was he accusing him of stealing, but he also believed he had cause to worry. He looked over to the closest tree, judged the distance as doable, and leaped.

  “Jyran! Are you insane? What if you fall?” Gideon ran over to the new tree, and Jyran rolled his eyes. There was a line of trees along the entire parking lot, and he ran and leaped, ran and leaped, ran and leaped. He noted a hollow in one of the trunks, ran past it, leaped, and landed in the next tree. The hollow looked like a good place to dwell. He ran and jumped over to the last tree in the line, turned around, and ran back to the tree he’d just left. Gideon came to a stop underneath it and growled. Jyran jumped again, and this time Gideon didn’t follow. Had he been able to smile in squirrel form, he would have. He slid into the hollow, and unless Gideon climbed the tree, he wouldn’t be able to see him.

  Several seconds went by. Silence spread over the parking lot, and Jyran curled his tail around him. The night was cold, but he’d be fine.

  “Jyran?”

  Gideon walked around the tree next to his. “Jyran? Are you there?”

  Jyran ignored him, closed his eyes, and tried to relax.

  “Jyran? This is not funny.”

  No, it wasn’t. He took a deep breath. How the hell had his life turned to this? He should have stayed with Justin. It wasn’t ideal. A piece would always be missing, but maybe he could’ve faked it. He liked Justin. He cared for Justin. He didn’t love him, but if he’d tried hard enough, they might have been able to make it work.

  He sighed. It wasn’t fair to Justin.

  “Jyran?” There was a tinge of worry in Gideon’s voice now, but he ignored it.

  From here on out, he’d be on his own. He could do it. Once he’d slept for a little while, he’d leave. He’d sneak back into the hotel in Ordbury, get his things, and leave. He could contact Adara when he’d found a place to stay. He had money this time. It was more than any other time he’d started over.

  “Jyran? Come out, come out wherever you are.” He waited a few seconds. “Come on. I’ll give you some nuts if you crawl down.”

  Jyran wished he was a snarling animal, but he took some satisfaction in Gideon talking to the wrong tree. Maybe his nose wasn’t as good as he believed it was.

  “For fuck’s sake, Jyran! I’m calling Adara.”

  Jyran tucked his tail tighter around him, hoping he’d call Adara. She was most likely in bed with Amir and would not be pleased with the interruption. It would serve the idiot right.

  “Come on!” He was quiet for a few seconds. “I’m calling her.”

  Jyran didn’t peek out of the hollow to see if he reached for his phone or not.

  “Adara, sorry to interrupt, but I can’t find Jyran.”

  Jyran huffed. He couldn’t make out Adara’s words, but he’d be surprised if there wasn’t a death threat in there.

  “I didn’t do anything! He bolted before we made it to the apartment.” He quieted for a couple of seconds. “No, now. He stayed to help me clean up.”

  Silence spread, then he spoke more calmly. “Yeah. No, nothing scared him.” He growled. “I wasn’t being an ass.”

  Oh, yeah, he’d been an ass.

  “Look, he was hungry, and I might have said something about my nuts, but it was nothing. He turned around and bolted out of the building and then he climbed the trees—” Another growl. “No! No, he must still be here. He jumped from tree to tree, and then he disappeared.”

  Gideon was silent for a couple of seconds, then he grumbled a fine, and Adara’s voice came on the speaker. “Jyran, honey, I know he’s a prejudiced bastard who doesn’t deserve you, and I’m sorry I left, okay? I should’ve known he wouldn’t be able to do something as simple as show you to a bed without fucking up, but babe, I need you. Please don’t get eaten by the wolveagle simply because fate screwed you over.”

  She was quiet for a few seconds.

  “Jyran, we’ll do the last four gigs, and then we’ll buy a house and not tour for a year. Please.”

  He scratched his nose. Not tour for a year would be wonderful.

  “You don’t have to shift back to human, but hop down from the tree, go with Gideon inside, and get some sleep. I’ll come fetch you first thing in the morning, and we’ll leave this hellhole for good. How about it?”

  It would be nice to sleep indoors, and if he stayed in squirrel form, he wouldn’t have to talk to Gideon.

  “What about the wolverine?” Gideon sounded tired now when he wasn’t shouting at Jyran.

  “We’ve managed on our own for a long time, Gid. Don’t exhaust the few brain cells you have worrying about us. We’ll be fine without you.”

  Yeah, they would be. Jyran climbed out of the hollow and down the trunk. Gideon glared at him once he realized he’d been barking up the wrong tree, but it didn’t matter. All they had to do was sleep through the night, and then Adara would come and get him.

  Chapter 8

  Gideon picked Jyran’s clothes up from the ground and held the door open for him. A squirrel. A fucking squirrel was following him up the stairs. Though he was kind of cute—not that he’d ever admit it aloud—and it had been impressive to watch him jump from tree to tree.

  When they reached the apartment, Gideon unlocked the door and motioned for Jyran to enter. “Do you want something to eat before sleep?”

  Jyran shook his head, which had Gideon flatten his lips. He was hungry. Gideon had heard his stomach rumble, and he’d shifted twice during the night. “I’ll fix something. What do you like?”

  Jyran didn’t move and didn’t look at him.

  “Come on.” He walked forward to the first door after the hallway. “This is the guest room. It’s not much, but a bed.”

  When Jyran was about to move into the room, Gideon closed the door in front of his nose. “The kitchen is this way.”

  If a squirrel could glare, it was what Jyran was doing. Cute. Gideon chuckled. Urgh, he had lost his mind.

  “In here.” He moved into the small kitchen. He didn’t use it often. Most often, he ate at the bar. Amir’s cooking was far better than his, and he mostly used this for breakfast. “What would you like?” He bit his tongue not to crack a joke about nuts.

  No reply came.

  “Can’t you shift back?”

  Jyran ignored him.

  “Eggs? I could fry some or do you want them boiled?” He narrowed his eyes. “Raw?”

  Jyran huffed.

  “I have cereal. Or I have bread if you prefer.” He studied him. His fluffy tail was drooping, and if a squirrel could look dejected, he was.

  “Change back. I’ll feed you, and we’ll go to bed, and tomorrow is a new day, okay?” It came out softer than he’d meant it to. Jyran’s day hadn’t been great, and Gideon wanted to take care of him.

  Jyran huffed, but then the air shimmered and soon he stood naked in the kitchen. Gideon swallowed hard as he slid his gaze over his body, from his toes all the way up to his collarbones. He was lithe, but there was sinewy strength. Wide shoulders, toned chest, flat stomach with defined abs. Nothing extreme, not a result of hours spent in a gym, but Jyran was fit. Gideon wanted to touch. Wanted to run his hands all over, wanted to kiss and nibble. It had an aching need spreading in his body, heat pooling, and his cock grew hard.

  He pulled in a breath and wished he could’ve bathed in Jyran’s scent. A small moan escaped him, and he took a step closer. His eyes roamed. He wanted to trace the edge of his hipbone, nibble on his collarbone, tease his nipple, nuzzle his neck, but Jyran took a step back.

  Gideon’s gaze jumped to his face. The look there stopped him short. Jyran wasn’t turned on. He looked sad and tired.

  “Seen enough?”

  No. Though Gideon had a feeling it would never be enough. “Are you cold?” Gideon was still holding his clothes, but he couldn’t get himself to hand them over.

  “I’d love my clothes.”

  Gideon took a step closer.

  “Stop.”

  He did, but it took effort.

  “You can’t treat me like shit for six years and then cop a feel.”

  “I haven’t treated you like shit.”

  “No?” Jyran widened his eyes in an exaggerated manner. “I guess we have different definitions of what treating someone like shit is.”

  “I haven’t been around you, so how could I have—”

  “You rejected me! I’m your perfect match, and you rejected me. You didn’t even say hello first.”

  Gideon gritted his teeth. “You’re a squirrel.”

  “And you’re a wolf! Do you think, when I dreamed about my mate, I pictured a wolf?”

  Gideon stilled. Wolves were great. It was only natural to fantasize about a wolf mate.

  “Oh. My. God.” Jyran threw his hands in the air. “You think I did.” The laugh. It wasn’t so much a laugh as a sound of utter disbelief. Gideon’s cheeks heated. He did his best to ignore it, but why wouldn’t Jyran want a wolf mate? A wolf would keep him safe, would care for him, would keep him warm and fed. The problem with squirrels was they were hunted, tormented, and slaughtered. He’d seen people lose their mates, and he never wanted to experience it. Having a squirrel mate would always have him worried. Though he worried now too.

  What if he hurt Jyran? He was a wolf, and Jyran was a squirrel. They couldn’t shift and run together as mated wolves did. Heck, he might eat him by mistake if they did.

  “I’m going to bed.”

  “No, wait.” Gideon frowned. “You don’t want a wolf mate?”

  “Of course not, but I’m willing to put it aside. For you. Or I was willing until you acted like you do every time we meet.” He turned to leave the kitchen, but Gideon reached for him.

  One second, his fingers touched skin, the next there was nothing but thin air in front of him. Jyran moved so fast; Gideon gaped. Shit, he was a quick little bastard. “Jyr.” But Jyran was already by the guest room. Gideon’s gaze dropped to his ass, the muscles in his buttocks moving with each step, and his canines grow sharper. He wanted to bite into those ass cheeks.

  He swallowed a moan and rushed forward. One second, Jyran was about to enter the room, the next Gideon had him pressed face first against the wall next to the doorway. “We’re not done.” Gideon pressed his body against Jyran’s back and nuzzled his neck.

  “I think we are, so if you’d please let me up.” He pushed at Gideon, but Gideon didn’t budge. Jyran might be fast, and he might be nimble, but Gideon was strong.

  “Jyran.”

  “No!” Jyran elbowed him in the ribs. “You don’t get to say when and how you want to be near me. You don’t get to demand when I listen to you and not. We could have been together for six years, but you refused me. Now you have to live with your decision.”

  Gideon frowned. He didn’t mean they should stay together. He only wanted to…touch. To hold Jyran, feed him, and make sure he was safe. Oh fuck. He dropped his forehead to Jyran’s shoulder.

  “You’re leaving in the morning. Can’t we just…have the night?”

  Jyran huffed. “You’re priceless. There is no way in hell I’ll be sleeping with you, Gideon. Want to solidify the mating only to then kick me out? It will be ten times worse to be apart then than it is now. There is no way in hell I’d expose myself to that.”

  The words shouldn’t hurt, but they did. Seconds went by, then Jyran took a deep breath and relaxed. Gideon wound his arms around him and pressed him to his chest. No one had ever fit as well in his arms as Jyran did. No one smelled as good, no one made the wolf inside quiet.

  He nuzzled Jyran’s neck again. “Please.”

  “No. It’ll be hard enough to walk away from you when my stupid heart yearns to stay. Let’s not make it harder, okay?” Jyran tried to turn in his arms, and after a second of hesitation, Gideon let him. His eyes were glassy as if he was on the verge of crying, and it stabbed Gideon’s heart.

  Jyran reached up and cupped Gideon’s cheek. “Sleep well.”

  He removed his hand, but before he could walk away, Gideon leaned in and kissed him. A chaste touch of lips, over way too soon, and yet enough to make Gideon weak in the knees. “Good night.” He took a step back, so he wouldn’t grab Jyran again.

  When Jyran had disappeared into the guest room, Gideon went to the kitchen and placed his clothes on a chair, then he got ready for bed. There was a strange buzz in his body, and he wouldn’t be able to go to sleep. He wanted Jyran. Not as a one-night stand or whatever he believed. He wanted to hold him. He’d fucked up.

  Crawling into bed, he spent half an hour, if not more, staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t let Jyran leave tomorrow. What if he never saw him again? What if someone else tried to snatch him off the road?

  He flung the cover back and walked to the guest room. He didn’t knock, only opened it and stepped inside.

  “Gid.” It wasn’t a question, more a defeated observation.

  “Move over.” He sat on the edge of the bed. When Jyran moved closer to the wall, he raised the cover and slid underneath. “We got off on the wrong foot.”

  Jyran snorted.

  “No.” Gideon reached for him, pulled him into his arms, and cradled Jyran’s head as he guided it to his chest. Jyran was tense and unwilling, but as Gideon caressed his back in small motions, he stopped resisting.

  “I know I hurt you. I know I handled it badly. I know I should apologize.”

  “But you won’t.”

  Gideon grimaced. “I always pictured myself with a wolf. All my life I’ve waited to find my mate, the one perfect for me, and I painted a world. The two of us running in shifted form in the moonlight.” He wrapped his arm around Jyran and hugged him. “I believed the day I found my mate; all my problems would go away. I’d have someone to share everything with.”

  “But because I’m a squirrel, you can’t.”

  “Of course, I can. I know Adara trusts you with her life. I know I can too, but I got scared.”

  Jyran didn’t reply.

  “Not a single day has gone by without me thinking about you.” He slid his fingers up his spine, reveling in getting to touch him, getting to hold him. “I should have contacted you. I should have come to see you.”

  Jyran groaned.

  “I should have.” He bent and kissed his forehead. “Adara gave me a letter you’d written.”

  “The bitch.”

  Gideon chuckled. “Yeah. I wanted to rip Justin, or whatever his name is, to shreds. Had I been there, there wouldn’t have been any Justins in your life.”

  “Oh, I don’t know.” Jyran turned around, facing the wall. “I doubt you can keep me satisfied. Us squirrels are voracious.”

  Gideon laughed in the dark and turned to spoon Jyran from behind. “Whenever you feel like letting me, I’ll give it my best shot to keep you sated.”

  Jyran huffed, but as Gideon nuzzled his neck, he relaxed in his arms.

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12